I’ve been really inspired and super productive 😊, which makes me happy 😃! I’ve been practicing eyes, and found a use for that Bristol paper. #goals
Here are some pics of what I have been working on.
What I keep hearing is you gatta make some crappy art to make some good art. Today was officially crappy art day, I know it’s a learning process.. but dang, art supplies aren’t cheap 😝.
Lol, I seriously was so excited to start this, after 4 hours it finally met the trash can. I did learn some things though. 1) I don’t know why I own Bristol paper… it is useless. 2) I really need to practice drawing eyes. 3) I don’t need to go full on, I can do a little sketch without bringing out ALL of my supplies. 4) I really hate working on anything bigger than a 12×12. 5) Bristol paper is the worst… did I say that already?
They will, however have to wait until I bust out the next 3 days of 12 hour shifts doing the nursing gig.
In order to bring my idea into fruition I need some things: I am requiring a table saw, which I don’t own, a table saw operator, a date to accompany me to Home Depot, and some wood.
I love how I can look back at where I started, consider all the types of media I have experimented with, along with all the successes and failures, but everything is adding up; I am still trying new things, but my new things echo my old things, which I love ❤️, because every last bit of it is me, my things, cohesive or not… I will continue to make what I want, what I feel on any given day. Skulls, weird creatures, pretty flowers, cartoon dogs, pretty girls, ugly girls, doesn’t matter because they all come from me❣️ Imma do what I want!!
So enough of my “blog”, here are 3 little 6×9’s that I made for some special ladies. I wanted to show them that I appreciate that they are in my life 💛, and yes..it was hard parting with my “babies”, but as an artist, what better gift can you give than an original piece created with that special someone in mind. All my peeps know that I hardly ever part with an original, an issue I need to work on for sure. I have actually talked people out of buying an original from me, so dumb… so dumb, just destined to be a starving artist 👨🎤. I think I need a manager 🙄
Well, been trying to get back at it. I’ve had some small successes and some big disasters. I feel like I’m learning again, which is kinda cool… I think tomorrow I will have something new ready to be shown. It’s a lot different than what I’ve been doing, but it’s still me in there 💗 I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on it!
The choking feeling
Pushing it down
It forces itself up
Smile to a frown
Tears welling in eyes
Not what she wants
The tears fall
Betrayed by gravity
Reconstruct the wall
Her alternate reality
She stays on the side
That keeps her numb
No inspiration will come
No colors, no shapes
It’s all disappeared
No longer her escape
My youngest daughter is getting married in October and she requested something special for her guests to sign….so this is it. The white of the wedding dress and the white of the jacket is the available space. I just need to get some ultra thin Sharpies, pretty colors of course, and try not to hover over folks to make sure they are doing it right 😜 just kidding Alyssa.
They say once you put something on the internet it is there forever, that is my attempt today. My mom passed away August 12, 2017, her obituary was not befitting what her life was. I’m going to say she was no angel, but who is? She chose to be a mom at the age of 16 in a time when teen moms were sent to “live with an aunt and uncle out of town”. She married my dad and they made 3 more babies by the time she was 21. They didn’t workout, she was a young single mom. I believe she did the best she could. She taught us to love and show empathy. She was in her 30’s when she decided to get her GED and went to nursing school! She maintained a 4.0 and from what I hear she was pretty competitive in school to try to keep the best grades. She was a critical care nurse for many years, and then took on roles that were not at the bedside. She missed being at the bedside, she loved it. She would tell me stories good and bad, but what always stood out was how much she cared. Her patients got real baths with soap and water, hair washed, and you better believe if they needed to be turned every two hours.. it got done. Seven years ago she endured the terrible heartbreak of losing a child, my sister Theresa, to a drug overdose. My mom never recovered from that loss. The years following were cycles of love and then fights. It was such a vicious circle, there was no choice but to pull away from her. In turn, she lost her three remaining children. My mama was a good person, the first at your side if there was a crisis. Ready to take up for the underdog. Myself, my sister and my brother loved her, as only a child could love a mom. My mom was in the ICU for 3 weeks with what was initially pneumonia. We were never told. They were able to wean her from sedation and had “shown improvement”, as evidenced by opening her eyes a few times. She was no longer sick enough for the hospital. She was being transferred to a long term care hospital for rehab, still on a ventilator, and barely responsive. I believe the two days she opened her eyes was her rally, she was ready to pass to whatever is next. She went into respiratory arrest and was without oxygen for 10 minutes. She was a full code and got CPR which saved her body but left her brain dead. She was taken back to the hospital where they continued to “do everything” to save her body. At this point someone stepped up and said that her kids should be called. Within minutes of receiving that phone call, the three of us rushed to each other, and then together to her bedside. My mom made her wishes very clear, she never wanted to be in the state that she was. Trach, vent, feeding tube, bedsores, hair matted, incontinet of stool. Because the people in charge of her healthcare were uneducated about the decisions they were making, the last weeks of my moms life were her worst nightmare. The next day my mom tried to die again..3 times, and they kept bringing her back. After the 3rd time she was made a do not resuscitate if she were to arrest again. She was then transferred to what we assumed would be the room in which she would pass, and soon. We stayed by her side. We gave her baths, talked to her, cried on her, held her hand, forgave, apologized, played songs, never left her alone. She held on. She was then transported to hospice. The people in charge of her allowed us one last night with her and we had to be gone by the next morning. She passed away 5 days later.
I want the world to know she was here, and she deserved more than the 5 lines in her obituary. I don’t want that to be her legacy. She was a loved mom of Chrissy, Theresa, Kimba, and John. We hope she found peace and is with our sister.
screamed, spoken, whispered
waiting to be considered
taken too lightly
nobody is listening
taken too literally
the effects deafening
picking and choosing what she said
editing and arranging
after her voice went dead
body remains, her heart beats inside
stuck in this shell, technically alive
she spoke the words
“Please don’t leave me like this”
feathery, airy, and easily dismissed
she spoke the the words
“Keep them from there”
and these are the words to which they adhere
clinging to words that perpetuate hate
enforcing the rules to keep us away
a final chance, its not too late
maybe her spirit led them to sway
a call in the night
the words don’t make sense
she’s losing the fight
come make amends
three by her side
her flesh and blood
scars they cant hide
bringing nothing but love
words that were spoken
children that were broken
proved that they cared
holding her hand
kissing her cheek
no words to speak